Dear Annie: My oldest son is married, and while I have always tried to maintain a good relationship with my daughter-in-law, it’s clear that she doesn’t like me. Despite this, I love my two grandchildren more than words can express and cherish every moment I get to spend with them.

However, I often feel excluded from their lives, especially when it comes to family trips. My daughter-in-law is very close to her mother, and they frequently plan vacations to Disneyland and Disney World — places that I adore. Over the years, there have been four different Disney trips that included the entire family, including my daughter-in-law’s mother, but I have never been invited. Even when I have expressed interest in joining them or offered to plan and pay for a trip myself, my requests have been repeatedly denied.

Each time, I only find out about these trips through Facebook when I see their pictures. It breaks my heart every time, and after the fourth time, I finally expressed my feelings in a comment, asking why I was never included in a Disney trip with my grandchildren. Instead of a response, I was unfriended. Since then, nearly a year has passed, and I have not been allowed to see my grandchildren.

I don’t know how to fix this situation, and it’s deeply painful to be cut off from my family. How can I mend this relationship and find a way to be a part of my grandchildren’s lives again? — Lost and Heartbroken

Dear Lost: Your heartbreak is understandable. Being excluded from your grandchildren’s lives, especially when you love them so deeply, is incredibly painful.

While you can’t control your daughter-in-law’s actions, you can control how you respond. Have you spoken with your son? It’s unfair and unkind to deny a grandmother time with her grandchildren. Approach him calmly, expressing how much you miss them and want to be involved — not just on trips, but in their everyday lives. Avoid blame and focus on moving forward.

If speaking with your son doesn’t help, consider writing a kind, nonconfrontational letter to your daughter-in-law. Sometimes extending an olive branch can soften tensions. Meanwhile, continue showing love in small ways, such as sending cards or gifts.

In the end, with all the complicated family dynamics, it’s the grandchildren who miss out the most. Grandparents play a valuable and enriching role in their grandchildren’s lives, offering love, wisdom and support. Wishing you the best of luck.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.