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About 95 percent satire

November 12, 2013
The Daily Mining Gazette

To the editor:

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has recently raised the probability of man-made global warming to the statistically significant level of 95 percent.

They said in a report that the current hiatus in global warming, when temperatures have risen more slowly despite growing emissions, was a natural variation that would not last.

Aw, c'mon, shouldn't we go along with the handful of naysayers?

After all, 95 percent of scientists decades ago pooh-poohed continental drift and they were wrong.

Also, more than 95 percent of working scientists actually believe in evolution? How gullible!

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And more than 95 percent of scientists worldwide think creation science is baloney. They need to go to the creation museum in Kentucky to be more informed.

More than 95 percent of working scientists have master's and doctorate degrees. Martin Luther was right: "Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has. Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding."

At one time more than 95 percent of scientists said that Malaria was not caused by mosquitoes. Wrong again.

And more than 95 percent of scientists believe in the germ theory of disease.

Unbelievable! Read the Bible. Jesus didn't cast out germs, he threw out demons.

And we know these invisible disciples of that recalcitrant fallen angel are keeping amused by causing havoc around the world. Don't we? Couldn't they amuse themselves in a different way, perhaps by watching "Keeping up with the Kardashians" and re-runs of "I Love Lucy?"

Perhaps 95 percent of religious people would say that God is in control, so why worry? Would God allow any natural disasters? Of course not!

Relax, as Dr. Pangloss taught Candide: "all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds."

David M. Keranen

Bakersfield, Calif.

 
 

 

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